I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
