I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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