That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
