I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
