I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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