is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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