it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You're like the curious george of whores
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
