Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
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Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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