omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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