You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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