she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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