There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
