Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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