She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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