I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I can't turn off my feet"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
