No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
