whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
