so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Couch. On fire.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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