Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize