my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
