I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize