Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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