Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You made out with two different species that night
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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