bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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