I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
