One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
