I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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