Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
