I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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