The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We are all done wearing pants today
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
