omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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