Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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