My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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