im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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