bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
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She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
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I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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