i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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