I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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