which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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