I am puke
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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