There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
