I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
