Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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