So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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