No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize