don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Dear god my vagina.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
