shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
