i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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