Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
