so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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