the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
