I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
