So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
