ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
