hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
