I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I smell like Dick and happiness
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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