i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
