I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
