As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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