Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
