Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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