then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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