it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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