guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
